I decided to pick two cards for this sunday. One major what where I wanted to be and a minor for how to get there.
Strength as where I want to be. I see a young woman on the savanna. She is sitting on her knees, her hands cradling the head of a lion. Above her the clouds form a lemniscate. Her chest is naked but she is dressed in jewels and gold and wears a beautiful skirt. I see her as someone having power and security both financially and emotionally/spiritually. My key-words here are: Will, co-operation, focus on a higher goal.
I never felt comfortable with my self like that. There is also something so assured about her handling the lion and fitting into her surroundings. She is at home here. This is her place. Another thing that I often struggle with is authority, both to face it and to use it. The strength to let my words, my body take up space, to be direct with what I want and not fall back to being all passive-aggressive. This woman does not sit around feeling sorry for herself.
In the 4 of Staves I see richly decorated pillars in a closed off courtyard. A man is leaning back on a divan, a woman kneeling beside him while gazing into his face. Delicious food is laid out on a table nearby, plates of fruits and jugs of wine. The man is wearing a nemyss so I can assume he is royal and this is his private haven. Two lion headed staffs are symbols of his power but put aside for now.
I have been living more or less out of boxes for 20 years, never settling down long enough or well enough to really make a space my own. My home consists of hand-me-downs from friends and family. I feel that living like this makes me inhibited, closed off, not really comfortable anywhere. I have no authority even alone in my home. I think I need to make my mind up, put down all those boxes, unpack them and claim my own space. I can create sacred space, my own little haven right here! Perhaps having that refuge would make me speak out more, raise my voice and take a place in my own life and not always waiting for the next thing life throws at me.