I just had a really cosy weekend. It’s been beautiful up here, sunny and clear. I been in excellent moods. Woke up around 7 am by a cuddly kitty, had breakfast with lit candles and watched the sun rise. Meditated on Gimel (part of the pathworkings I am doing right now with the Thoth) had a friend come over for tea and gingerbreads, got fire-wood for chilly nights stocked up now. Made a great chicken dinner with Garam Masala and bulgur. Wrote in my journal, played with my new Lenormand cards (those are funny but feels a bit strange, like almost ‘plain’ after the busy tarot cards)
I found my old dreamjournal and poured over old old dreams and found I still vividly recall the emotions of those dreams. It is a cups weekend, filled with joy and emotional communication yet I am rather silent, communicating with myself, only carefully dipping into the sea of others emotions. Autumn feels like a blank slate though, anything can happen! October soundtrack here: Low
This weeks deck is the Tarot of the Sephiroth. I had the set just sitting in my shelf for years, thinking I would give it proper time later. Well it looks like ‘later’ has come. All info you need about it can be found here
Yesterday was a 2 of cups day. Pink and golden light playing across my walls, door flung open to the garden. Joy of life bubbling up from inside for no other reason then to be and be shared. Made food and shared it with loved ones. Dreamt much. Read books and journals. Scribbled love letters to myself and who ever found them in margins of books. I wasted 15 years on meds and never felt this good.
Today was 8 of cups and immediatly it struck me that I am now one of those 5 cups on top bubbling over and sharing and giggling but for a very long time I was always one of the 3 on the bottom, dry and empty. I still know that feeling of standing on the outside, wishing to be a part of, be included in, shared with… Living in that envy of other peoples seemingly happy relationships. But it has always been up to me too, I am no longer a child with distracted and cold parents, if I want in on the fun stuff I need to let them in.
I really do think that a lot of the change in me is from my meditations. It calms me and makes me feel receptible to love, more forgiving. Oh how I wish I could keep it up, see how I already despair, preparing for darker days.