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Kitty Charlie fends off Death.

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I had my kitty Charlie neutered yesterday. In the past I lost a cat in this same situation, even at that same vet.station, 25 years ago. It still hurts. And I was nervous when I loaded Charlie into the cat-carrier. He was pissed off and meowed for the full trip, panting a little with exhaustion in between and must have thought me cruel for not rescuing him, just sitting there. Just before leaving the house I took 1 tarot card. Death. But of course… bloody deck giving me just the thing to feed my fears. I had that death in my mind the whole day. I explained to the vet I was worried and could she please make sure not to give him too much sedatives. After the deed was done and she showed me the wound and told me all went fine and it looked fine I blurted out that no, oh no, it didn’t look good at all, all bloody and smeared and my kitty knocked out cold. I do believe she was a bit taken back by my statement and told me again that Yes! It does look just fine. So I took him home. Put him in his little cot. And waited. And thought about Death. Felt how his little paws were cold, tucked him into a blanket, checked his breathing, waited…

3 hours later he stumbles up, eat a little, fell asleep in the litter box and then slept 2 more hours in the cot and then Death just vanished… and my little kitty started chasing rubberballs and my feet and licked my nose. When I went to bed in the evening, so tired, he wanted to play. Today he is over playing with his best friend.

He is indeed ‘accepting a permanent change’ and dealing just fine with the ‘loss of the known self’ and looking at this card a little bit deeper then yesterday my eyes wander to the many deaths, not just the one being pushed away by the woman, but also the faded ones in the back, the memory or those we lost, and the looming fear we deal with when change comes.

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About jema

Dreamer, tarot reader and hobo librarian

5 responses »

  1. They won’t let you take an animal home from the vet’s here until they are able to stand up on their own, I’m so surprised they let you have Charlie while he was still under anesthesia. I’m glad all is well and all is well. I drew Death the week I had my cancer surgery. Knew I would 🙂 Perhaps it just reminds us we need to look at all sides of a situation…bad…and Good. We often forget the Good.
    hugs, Sharyn

    Reply
  2. Ack! What a card to draw! I think sometimes I draw the card I am thinking about (or even trying hard NOT to think about). Almost like a force is saying, “Okay, it’s time you confront this head on, whether you like it or not.”
    So glad Charlie is doing well!

    Reply
  3. Oh, what a roller-coaster of emotions. Well done for getting through it ok. Very harrowing. I too have had that ‘sick with worry’ feeling when an animal is having surgery. I really related to that post, and indeed the other comments. Yep, sometimes we draw the card that is most on our mind.

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  4. Very happy to hear that Charlie is okay! And Death was faced and now everybody moves forward. I guess that is how I view Death & changes in general. Just have to deal with it and move on.

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  5. Our pets are like children that never grow up and when in harm’s way we shroud them in our protection. Well done for coping so well and having the responsibility of neutering your feline companion. I big hug for your kitty too 🙂

    Reply

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