As we fall further and further into autumn my ‘nesting’ tendencies increase. I gather around me pillows and throws and tea-mugs and candle and slippers and cardigans and cats and books. I am also less and less inclined to socialize. When I have to deal with other people I find myself going defensive.
Todays card reminds me of that pose. Back to the wall, ready to lash out, even in a seemingly harmless situation. I just want to be left alone. I feel tired to the bone of fake smiles and having to give one back. Just let me sit here and enjoy my own company. People make me tired. It takes so much of my energy trying to ‘read’ them and the situation.
I woke up last night and couldn’t breathe. Had to cough to the point of almost choking. A bad taste in my mouth, as if I were a smoker again. It has been over 11 years since my last smoke, but it could be passive smoking. This just adds to my animosity right now. I am overly sensitive, I know.
Ok enough whining. Here are some bad lit photos of my hallway. It don’t get any natural light so I didn’t even try to brighten it up by painting it white, it would just still be murky, so I went the other direction. It is now dark gray with a hint of coppar as a shine. The small table is an old nightstand I painted white and put some of the wall-paper on the top. The old hat-rack is gone and replaced with just a few coat-hangers.
That huge door leads to the livingroom and will go as soon as someone strong enough to lift it comes by