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Awake!

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viscontijudgementYeah that is the monthly illustrated magazine directed to devout Jehovah’s Witnesses and the flock they tried to gain by knocking on doors. Filled with images of tigers and lambs and racially segregated couples.  Today’s card from Visconti is of course Judgement. Angels blasting horns in the sky, God our Almighty Father with sword and globe looking on and the dead rising from their tomb.

Matthew 24:31 ‘And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other’

Of course the purpose to the whole thing is for us to engage in some more killing. The Great War against Satan and his devils and all evil men that later will be laying rotting on the battlefield earth where bird will pick out their eyes and feed upon them. Somehow they never illustrated that part in Awake! The stories themselves were enough to send my little cousins crying. I didn’t grow up in the cult but I matured into it, in a twisted way. When I was 11 we moved up to the north of Sweden and close to my aunt and uncle and my cousins on my mothers side that were Witnesses. At 17 I was baptized and filled my journal with feverish entries about guilt and glory. At 20 I left, I just packed my bags and moved away from it all, started to study and started with all those forbidden things, sex, getting drunk, smoking, tarot. That was the nail in the coffin. Tarot was demonic, I was so doomed. And so happy 😀

So for me this card is a reminder of a REAL awakening. The one where I heard my own calling. Just a note to say I still dearly love my aunt and uncle and all the cousins too, I just do not GET it. I don’t get it. They are intelligent people living in some self-chosen illusion. *sigh* Perhaps that really is their calling and I am wrong to judge them for it. They seem happy enough.

Things left behind like dust

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I have been living most of this week curled up in the sofa, reading novels as I said before. I did pull a card each day but didn’t even think of blogging. I  blog just for fun and sometimes not blogging is just as important as writing. I need the spaces of silence.

Today I pulled the Judgement card and it made me think of what we leave behind. I am reading Douglas Couplands novel ‘Player One’ right now and in it he muses about the Rapture, the moment Jesus will snatch you up to Paradise and just leave your shoes behind. But what will we really leave behind? Coupland writes about the Rapture Goo since all that might be taken is the DNA, all the rest would be left, the shoes, clothes, hair, blood, bone, water, muscle, bacteria, skin, cells – everything not DNA. And the thing that makes me into ME is so minuscule you could carry it in a tea-spoon. Now I am not a believer in the Rapture but it poses interesting thoughts.

When I wake up in the morning, I like to think that I leave behind the worries of the yesterday and step into the brand new day, refreshed, naked, open. And when I make my bed, I like to think that as I shake my bed covers I shake off all the troubles, the shame, the guilt, the resentment.

This Judgement card is an opening to a fresh start, it’s a call to begin my day dust-free.