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Focus

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originsxxToday’s card is XX The Prey (Judgement) This was one of the card that stood out when I first looked through the deck. It is such a striking card with the massive hunter in wait for his prey, the deer. He got his spear ready and aimed while he is hidden. It’s all about focusing, the eye on the prize. If your mind starts to wander you will go hungry as will your tribe. Failing means starving.  The XX also strikes me as being the X The Wheel times two. For a hunter it is as much skill and focus as luck really. It’s all a game/prey/pray of chance. But he is smiling isn’t he? I got a feeling he will get his deer.

Last night I had some wild dreams of closed down apartment stores, circus people, fish-burgers, rollercoaster rides and struggling to keep a rowdy gang fed and happy. Woke up quite happy to just have myself to take care of for now.

Today my thoughts are with a friend in surgery. Sending lots of warm thoughts and hurray-you-will-do-great prayers.

Pulling myself up

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Today’s card was Judgment and boy what an exhausting day. One thing after another piling up and me having to make tons of calls to try and fix things. I managed to at least gain the information I needed. And all day – pouring rain and cold and internet down and bank trouble and phones and bleh, I just wanted to crawl back to bed but then the landlord came with some gear to fix the door and I just ran away from home for an hour. Fixed the bank stuff, internet solved, door can close, rain ceased and money borrowed until monday. One thing I am glad I did today was to actually DEAL with stuff and not just hide away. (I got a bad case of phone-phobia and hate making calls) But I did it!

I do love this image of the ballerina playing/dancing herself out of the tomb. Heeding her own calling.

Settle for less or not at all

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I don’t often see this card as a judging but today I do. I got a prickly temper sometimes and can be quite snappy to people for the tiniest of reasons. So todays card is in part a verdict on my own poor judgment, to send off biting remarks without thinking things through. I got a great family, they know me well and just let it slide when I get mean. I am never mad for long. Today I want to think them for not judging me too harshly.

This is a deck about love and relationships though and I should at least try to learn something about that part of life too. The book says that one should not settle for less but I am just not settling at all, not in a romantic way anyway. I am not picky when it comes to love, I just never pick – at all. It’s like a part of me missing. And it has been missing so long there is not even a scab to pick on, no visible scars. Just me, alone. So I am not settling, I am not settling at all…