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Movement – Moment

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I never was ‘good’ at meditating until I stopped trying so hard. Today I picked 4 of Swords from the Tarot of Transformation.

I started walking every morning before breakfast. At first it is so hard to even get going. I sit and come up with a handful excuses as to why I should just stay put, in front of the computer, or even in bed just a little longer. But now my body gets dressed even while my brain is sleeping, my hands tie the shoelaces while my head is shouting that really, this is not at all necessery! But as soon as I close my front door behind me and step out I feel good, all is well. The first minutes my mind is adjusting, I get stuck in negative loops of perceived wrongs and have lectures in my head on how very sorry everything is and what could have been if only and yadda yadda… But after about 10 minutes I swept all the old patterns and flaws out, my head and my heart is clean – focused on just a few things. The breaths entering and leaving my body, the steps I take, the road ahead, the sea coming up ahead, the trees, the sounds of the wind and distant traffic or kids playing. But mainly just the one foot in front of the other and the air filling my lungs.

‘When you can identify a pattern in your mind and see where it originates, you can get some distance from it and be more objective and less controlled by it.’

 

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Relax

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But not as in being lazy and sitting on the balcony reading and now and then look up and squint your eyes to the sun… I already done that. It was glorious, having a cold beer and my Kindle and my cat in the lap (yes, he insisted)

Not as in Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax

But as in the conscious effort to Relax the tensions.

In this sketch (5 Water) DaVinci made one of his intricate mechanical drawings. This, according to the book, is a contraption to relax a spring too tightly wound up. Earlier this morning I stumbled upon a thread in my Heathens and Witches group over at Goodreads that wanted some tips on how to meditate and do creative visualisation. By pure chance I had just read a bit about the different modes of thinking and meeting the world in Temple Grandins book ‘Thinking in  Pictures’ and I thought back on how much I struggled with meditation mainly cause I could never relax to someone elses voice on those guided meditations. Pictures only worked if I had first dreamt of them. What really work for me, my way of un-winding that thightly spring in my mind is movement. I meditate walking, or if at home and not able to walk, by gently swaying my body. I meet the world in the tactile sense.

In one of my Kabbalah classes the Rabbi talked about how we humans meet the universe by only tiny little openings. like the skin on your fingertips, the eyes, the nose, the ears, the mouth. With training we can learn to take it in via our Spirit. Until then – I go for a walk…

What a serpentine post this became, but I love it when I somehow can connect this book to that book to that song to this card etc…