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Tag Archives: Silicon Dawn

Troubled toes spread

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I think the real name for the spread is something else. It is taken from the Tarot Lovers calender. I plan to do all the monthly spreads the first week of that month with whatever deck I happen to be working with. This time is a toe-spread! Think of a problem you have, lay out 5 cards in a row, like toes on your left foot (I am a leftie so it suits me well) then one card under them all for a heel (extra support)

My problem: What to do about feeling so tired and stuck.

1. Feelings I have about the problem (for the pinkie toe) 99 of Swords. This is one of the ‘extras’ in Silicon Dawn, I left them all in. Here I clearly see that I am overthinking it all, perhaps thinking more about being stuck then actually being stuck. Dreading feeling tired more then actually being so. Yes, it is there but I over-dramatize it all. It’s not the end of the world to feel out of sorts at times.

2. Something I think is a factor but really isn’t. 19 Sun (reversed as to emphasis that it is all in my head) I tend to believe that I suffer from SAD (Seasonal affliction syndrom) or something like that. But I never had a doctor telling me that this is what is wrong. I had doctors trying to medicate me into something like a zoombie but I quit that. Sertralin makes life bearable for a lot of people but it just never did anything for me and it was a nitemare to get off. Of course the Sun is always welcome when it comes, both in tarot and the real thing. But lack of it is not really my problem here. (if there even is one)

3. One aspect I know exist but is reluctant to deal with. The Devil. I know what this is and I don’t want to talk about it. lol. Ok then, I have really hard falling asleep without any kind of sleeping aid. And when I do take something it knocks me out the rest of the day. We are getting close here, right? No wonder I am tried so often when I either don’t sleep at all, or am too whoozy from last nights sleeping aid. I need to deal with it.

4. A hidden hitch in the works. King of Pentacles/fire. Really? No idea what this is. Some dude in a sombrero looking flashy. The book describes him as Air of Fire and a braggart extrovert. This is so not me. I’ll leave it for now. This could be some energy I need, or a partner in the works (sounds unlikely) Actually he looks a little like my neighbour and friends husband, the one whos cologne I can smell for 20 minutes after he left in the staircase.

5. The biggest contributor. (the big toe of the matter) Another extra card and one not even on the site. It is the invisible white spiral on white. I thought of a card from Morgans Tarot when I got this one. A card that say something like’ The universe is unfolding as it should’ for of course it does, it has to, how could it unfold any other way? This is all meant to be and I should not worry about it. This is my hiatus, my cocoon, my life-support floating tank… It is as it should.

6. Best way to improve the situation. Page of Pentacles/fire (reversed) Painting the walls. Letting loose. Just the other day I picked out a few of my old journals and took a photo of them, just looking at how different they are. Some artsy and pretty, others cheap and worried, all of them filled with scribbles and of me! I think I might be doing it right.

 

Squid

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Todays card do reflect my mood. A socialite is trying to keep up appearance while it rains in her cocktail, in the other frame we see her in a tank with a life-support system, and somewhere in the depths a squid goes down and down and down…

I was talking to my brother last night about how hard it was for me to stay ‘in time’ right now and how I just drifted away and kept getting things twisted up. My brother with a diagnose of Aspbergers is convinced I have that too, but I refuse to get some piece of paper to define my life. He asked me to roll my thumbs, then to change direction with just one thumb. Impossible and utterly useless if you ask me. Why on earth would someone even want to do that anyway? I don’t know about Aspbergers, but today I definitely feel squid like and in need of a life-support system.

Day in Reverse

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Silicon DawnMy day was lived backwards today, not so much my cards even though I did get a reversed 8 of cups too. That 8 somewhat describes the hang-over like state after a night with no sleep. Seems I just plain never went to bed last night but rather stayed up feeling stressed out and anxious over nothing and everything, just one of those nights I guess. This all ties in with me don’t know what day it is. The reason being of course that I lack things to put into my days.

I went for a nap around 8am and slept away the day instead.  Woke up disoriented and with the taste of bad dreams in my mouth.

 

Silicon DawnThe 8 of cups reversed came up together with 5 of cups. Talk about getting dumped, that looks like a long fall but perhaps that flight wasn’t the right one anyway. Together with her falls 5 cups, all empty, like old misgivings and worries that never quite leave even when you make a run for it – or a dive. 5:s are when we know if this is what we want, we are halfway up the tree (or down) and this is a turning point. We still got time to jump off and start over.

A few hours later after having had dinner, then showered and then coffee and orange juice (a breakfast in reverse just as the whole day) I put away the morning paper (that I stole from a neighbour that left it out all day) and picked up the deck. Silicon dawn is a tiny deck, but thick. Easy to shuffle and a joy to handle and look at. Out feel the Zero of Void.

Silicon DawnA white butterfly trailing a rainbow in the void. In the book the artist writes that the void and extras in this deck (that I leave all in) ‘Consider these the songs that only ever showed up as B-sides’ I think this one is a Hit single though.

Silicon Dawn Tarot

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Silicon DawnI got this deck just one or two weeks ago. Read through the book then and looked at all the cards but put it away for later use. Now is the time! Silicon Dawn tarot is created by Egypt Urnash and you can find her amazing site here. She is one classy designer and I do love her fresh take on the tarot, even though she tries to throw us a little by switching pentacles and wands around, it still works!

My journal post for todays card is like a small novella, so I leave you here on the blog with just tiny tidbits, nothing too personal since I do feel slightly exposed here in the blog at times writing too much perhaps about my off-line life. The 4 of Wands is the 4 of Earth as can be seen by the green colour and the theme of the card. the 4 of Wands in RWS decks is more about celebrations, here not so much. I look at this and yes, I been there. Locked inside my own messy rooms, restlessly walking back and forth, locked up in my mind more then in ‘reality’ but of course the mind is a reality of sorts. She could escape between those bars in the window, but for now she waits here.