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This the last day for this time with the Tarot of the Absurd, I asked the deck in what situation I would be most likely to work with it and it replied with 8 of Swords. When I feel stuck and got my back up the wall and just need some clear cut answers. People tend to read this card as ‘oh he/she is not REALLY stuck, the chains are lose blah blah’ but for all that matters, yes, there are times when you truly are just shackled down and no amount of wishful thinking will get you out. What needs to be done is to ponder how you ended up in this mess and make sure you don’t make the same mistake again. And ask for a hand!

Pulling myself up

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Today’s card was Judgment and boy what an exhausting day. One thing after another piling up and me having to make tons of calls to try and fix things. I managed to at least gain the information I needed. And all day – pouring rain and cold and internet down and bank trouble and phones and bleh, I just wanted to crawl back to bed but then the landlord came with some gear to fix the door and I just ran away from home for an hour. Fixed the bank stuff, internet solved, door can close, rain ceased and money borrowed until monday. One thing I am glad I did today was to actually DEAL with stuff and not just hide away. (I got a bad case of phone-phobia and hate making calls) But I did it!

I do love this image of the ballerina playing/dancing herself out of the tomb. Heeding her own calling.


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You know todays card is not so bad. I can see myself very well in it, as someone full of thorns, walking outside with daggers in my eyes, being prepared for bad weather. And then it just don’t show up and I stand there feeling slightly silly having been so on edge, so ready to snap. Today I see it as a challenge! For anything. ‘rolls up my sleeves’ I am ready, gimme what you got. I am prepared, I even got tassels on my daggers! And rubber boots but no pants! And I’ll leave the hat on, just for you…  Wanna play?

Now the challenge I got today was in the form or a stack of books. Almost 2000 pages all in all. That is three novels by Spanish/Mexican/throw-in-a-few-more Roberto Bolaño. And I am no chicken, I am gonna start off with The savage detectives. Just need to finish up the Eco I am reading first…

In disguise

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Perhaps my associations for today’s card says more about me then about the card :-p I also had a lot of other more positive things to say about this King of Cups but sometimes you just need to get the darkness out…

I grew up with a single mom and the men in my life (apart from my grand-father) were all damaged in different ways. My mom was just in her early 20:ies and had a thing for men she could ‘save’ so I would often walk out into the kitchen early mornings to find some ruffled hair stranger eating cereal in his boxers (if I was lucky, sometimes he would be in the buff) Men were not to be trusted, we had to hide money from them and sometimes they were trying to be friends but I could tell they just did it to score gold-stars with mom.

These men were just in disguise, slippery as eels, hard to grasp but always needy. Some tried to kiss me and touch me but that was all in my head, or a mistake.

I did grow up knowing one thing for sure though – you can never ‘save’ a man from his nature. If you date abusers, you will be abused. Just make bloody well sure not anyone else gets hurt too.



Tarot of the Absurd

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Just got this self-published limited edition tarot this week. Tarot of the Absurd is created by Jessica Shanahan in bright white and rich black. My photos does not do it justice at all. I got so many favorite cards already, just from looking through it twice. Included on this first shot is my usual 2 cards I index all my decks with – The Chariot and 6 of Swords, but I also had to include the first moon. Yep, there are 2 moons so you get to pick your favorite. I like the absurdity of this one the most.

The backs are simple and reversible – a pair of doors. My copy is nr 27 out of 600 and if you haven’t ordered a copy yet I recommend you to do so now 😀

Last night I pulled 3 cards while asking what kind of deck this is and how we would get along.  First card was Strength – please do read Jessicas tarot journal to learn all you want to know about ‘vagina dentata’  :-p This is a sensual card, and a strong and fearless one. I see it as an advice to approach the deck in a more emotional then intellectual manner. At first glance the cards look like they are void of esoteric symbolism, and they are! They are instead filled with personal symbols that it will be fun to see if I can recognize in my own life. In that way this Tarot of the absurd reminds me a lot about another favorite deck in my collection – The Sheridan-Douglas. It is not a RWS clone. While I can see it as being founded in that tradition it is made personal and in a quirky way.

The other 2 cards I pulled were 10:s 10 of Cups and 10 – Wheel of fortune. 10’s stand for completion, the end of one circle and the moment just before we start a new one. Cause really, nothing ends with a new family and a baby(except the pregnancy) – it just starts a whole new way of life. In the Wheel we all both give and receive. We go up and down and round and round and see things from a new angle each spin. We taste the world and we share it and sometimes keep it private.

It looks like I have a fun week ahead of me.