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Tag Archives: True Love Tarot

Gardening with mom

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No dreams today. I dreamt them but they are not ‘ready’ they are like a complicated cake, they need time to mature before they give the full satisfaction.

Today I picked The Empress. Here I see a mother and daughter in the garden. I love the vivid red colours, the city in the background. Gardening is something I like to do, but I like the little puttering around, planting seeds, care for the sprouts, sort and catalogue them and in the late summer dry the herbs and make teas. My mother likes all the other things, so we make a nice team. She clears out weed, dig around in the dirt, kill bugs and snails. Her nails got sorrow-black edges all the way into october. I think I am her inspiration and she is my hard little worker.

She tried to make me knit and do embroidery but I have no talent for that. But today she gave me some knitted squares left over from making a pillow, that I will use for making a bag for some tarot-deck. I can do things like that. I sometimes wonder if I am a disappointment to her, but I don’t think so. We accept life as it turned out. She never will be a grandmother. Things are what they are. We make things grow together anyway.

This is one of the few photos of us together when I was a child, I guess there were simply no one around to take photos back in the day. She is 19 here. Rocking the kohl like Amy Winehouse never could :-p (click to see it larger)

Grate (sic!) family

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The title refer to my dream of last night. I do try to always give my dreams a title, the cheesier the better.

I was inventing things. One of the things I was working with was a thing to help you lift those heavy iron grates you see on the roads where excess rainwater pours down. I was violently opposed while doing this invention by a team of researchers that questioned the very purpose of even doing this. The thing I invented was a large plate in metal with an engraving of a family, looking almost too happy and underneath was a clasping mechanism to clasp around the bars in the iron grate and somehow that engraving would give you the power needed to lift the heavy lid off. I was questioned about my reasons for inventing this thing, the reason to even go mucking about down there in the drainage but I felt it was very important, it was vital for me to have this tool because I needed to find something prescious, a little treasure I lost down there and so had many others too.
I wrote all this down in one long sentance after waking up. I had the image of a beautiful shining pearl, glowing softly in the mud deep down and I really needed to get it.

Right now my dreams are a lot closer then my cards. First card I pulled from the True Love Tarot was the Queen of shells. Hmm ok. Pretty lady surrounded by shells… It just left me cold. Next card, The Star. Another lady almost dropping her dress is blowing a horn. *yawn* but wait! There is something there, somehow the dark sun and moons, below the horizon, the bright star shining remind me of that feeling of seeing the pearl in the mud. You need darkness to find dreams and treasures. Sometimes, just a tiny bit of light is all you need.

Also did a practice draw with the Pixie Lenormand and got Key – Tree – Crossroad. Right now for me that reads as spiritual lesson, which is vague. I need to pick it down a notch, into real life. I need to think about that one some more…

Caring for the babies

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I often dream of the struggle of caring for babies, more often then not I fail miserably and the babies are dying. It’s awful, but even in the midst of the dream I know this is a dream and that the babies are not really dead. Today I choose to nurture my ‘babies’, all these babies are my creative dreams.

I pulled Princess of Wings as my card. She looks like half-fairy and half-angel here. Her eyes are looking at the shadow/dream and she holds something in the hand. It doesn’t really matter what it is, she got the tools she needs. This is actually one of the only cards where the book has something to say that resonates for me: ‘As you come to appreciate your original ideas more, you may begin to put them into action’ I am still not convinced that something as fluttery and soft as wings are the right for what is the sharpest suit in the deck.

Instead of posting the image of the card I decided to post the result of me choosing my day:

First is my pimped journal, just a few cut up stickers. Next to them is the oracle deck I got in the mail called Working with the four elements.

Next I went to my mothers house with the camera to take a photo of Trulls the kitten. I used to be good with photos then somehow I just put it away. I think it is time to pick up the camera more often, I had fun.

Choose the day!

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Reading the very end of Robert Moss book – Active Dreaming. In there is this passage of us choosing our day. And how not choosing is a choice. My choice is usually that one. Of course I wish I were enlightened and aware and active, but it is a whole lot harder then it sounds for me. If someone asked me what my biggest flaw was, the answer would be my laziness.

Seize the day is a lot easier then first choosing it. But it is true you get out of the events in a day what you put into it. And I put in very little. I have been doing that for a long time now, so long it is second nature – the path of least resistance. Just go with the flow, leave me alone, let me sit here and read tarot and books and not actually doing a thing. Nothing that matters.

I need to start choosing my day. Today I choose to make a commitment to take an active part in my own life.

I really hate this deck, these cards bring out a lot of frustration, not cause they are deep, because I don’t think they are, but because they are so ‘blank’ and it forces me to look deeper at the whole frigging picture and not just the tiny details. I love getting lost in details. Perhaps I am just having a crappy week. Or rather perhaps I chosen to put in really crappy energy into my day and it is kicking my ass.

Settle for less or not at all

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I don’t often see this card as a judging but today I do. I got a prickly temper sometimes and can be quite snappy to people for the tiniest of reasons. So todays card is in part a verdict on my own poor judgment, to send off biting remarks without thinking things through. I got a great family, they know me well and just let it slide when I get mean. I am never mad for long. Today I want to think them for not judging me too harshly.

This is a deck about love and relationships though and I should at least try to learn something about that part of life too. The book says that one should not settle for less but I am just not settling at all, not in a romantic way anyway. I am not picky when it comes to love, I just never pick – at all. It’s like a part of me missing. And it has been missing so long there is not even a scab to pick on, no visible scars. Just me, alone. So I am not settling, I am not settling at all…

Hasty snails

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True love

Well, they are shells, not snails, but I gotta at least try to be a little clever here. The hasty snails is of course refering to the pip-minors in this deck. For this ‘Will I love you?’ reading I picked 2 shells for outcome and then cringed. Not the best start. But let’s do it from the top.

Tell me about yourself: Magician. Goal oriented first came to mind and this is a deck with a rather one-track mind. It’s all about relationships, all about LUV! ❤ As an old spinster I will have to mold this to fit my own purpose cause I am really not out ‘on the market’ I am quite happy just me and Charlie the cat. The Magician is kinda solo too and he don’t look upset over it.

How do I best work with you: Hermit. Alone, in solitude, withdrawn, weeping in a glass of wine, forever lonely. No but perhaps this tells me to use it independently, closing in on details, seeing the correspondences in the world. Noticing the synchronicity. It’s that little bird in the right corner that the Hermit is listening to that I like the most about this card. And the well, it is a well, right? (now it is) A well with green water and blossoms.

Outcome: Such a vague description too. Outcome of what? For how long? In my journal I (ironically) wrote down ‘I will fall madly and deeply in love with it and it will be just me and True Love forever and ever. Actually this very card told me that this would never be the case cause I hate the frigging pips. Really, they got like 15 minutes to do the minors? Off they go, back into the box with them. I might add the courts though, they are nice.

Oh and click this for a better pic of the nifty spread cloth my mom knitted for me:

Fast forward

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I did skip a day here on the blog. I did pull a card but didn’t really ‘feel’ it so decided to not blog or even journal much. Had a rather interesting dream of being in a russian restaurant sampling a whole menu and finishing off with a large tray of cakes. It was cold and snowy even there, in my dream Russia, but I had warmth of good company and food. May seem very mundane and it was but also very detailed and full of real feelings.

Anyway – fast forward to today. I pick a new deck on saturdays. I did enjoy Voyager but I am not in love with it. If I wanna do a reading I got like 20 others, I would go to before that one. Perhaps the deck really needs classes certificates and some real investment of time (and money) for it to be ‘the One’ and that is not what I am looking for here. Had the booklet been in better condition I would most likely tried to sell or trade it. Now, I get to keep it, perhaps try again next year.

This weeks deck is another curve ball. I will the week after this one get a real challenge by way of AJ (quirkeries) and Bodhiseed (Under a sycamore tree) in the shape of some italian Proverb cards. So this week, with Valentine and all I bring out my True Love Tarot. I got it on a trade-train as an extra trade (think I sent off my Tarot of the Master, the jesus one) perhaps a bad trade if you look at the money, but I really hated that deck and I love the Zerner-Farber deck that is the creators behind True Love Tarot. It is a set with a book, it has pip-minors and is very much geared for relationship readings. Me being a die-hard old spinster will try to make the most of it. Heck, I do one of the love-spells and find a soul-mate! Riiiiight.

First deck interview reading will be up by tonight.