On sleep

Picked the 4 of swords and 9 of swords and just look at them side by side. Like Day and Night, like worry and the solution. It’s even the same couch. I like that is it s couch and not a bed, a couch being a place where it is ok not to sleep, were you have an excuse to twist and turn and read and think and watch TV and nap, but it is not made for the serious sleeping.

Night is more terrifying when struggling to sleep, wrestling with the doubts that is kept so tightly knotted up during day, now roaming free and disturbing the peace. Once asleep it’s like entering another body with a whole new set of abilities and possibilities. Those trivial problems fade away.

I am an insomniac and dread those hours between 2am and 4am.

“The night sky is only a sort of carbon paper,
Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars
Letting in the light, peephole after peephole—
A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things.”
― Sylvia Plath Selected Poems

Appropriately dressed

My card for today was the Hermit, how fitting, since I am not in a mood to be around people at all. Instead of being a social animal I do hermit-tasks, like laundry (washing my cape even) making beans and bacon (perfect food for an outing in a cave) and walk out in the snow to get some sunlight to cure my SAD (trying to find the light)

At least this Hermit is appropriately dressed for the Swedish winter. I would have knitted her some mittens though. Well, not me, but I could have given her one of the 8 pairs my mom knitted for me. I know how to knit but nothing fancy like thumbs.

In-between loads of laundry I am reading John Green’s young adult romance ‘The Fault in our Stars’ and quite like it. People have commented that teenagers don’t talk like they do in that book, but I say sure they do – teens can be utterly pretentious, at least I was. Reading my journal from when I was 17 I had pages and pages about life and death and religion and Literature. See, how Literature got a Capitol L but life didn’t? That’s me at 17… Someway along the way you would have thought I would have changed more.

A bit of a cold

I been terribly grumpy the last few days, had a cold coming on and been utterly whiny and horrid. Today I am better but I sneeze a lot. On the tarot forum I was in a trade-train (you trade away one and get one and pick from ‘stations’) and I behaved badly and hereby apologize.

Today I took my lazy ass self out for a walk, went to the library, had a nice chat, signed up for a book circle and came home with a bag filled with old magazines they sold cheap. So now tea and reading, my fave things.

Last nights card from Mountain Dream is so much cooler then me. 9 of Pentacles. In the background my slightly failed shortbread (I dropped the cardamon in the bowl) I can only hope to be as cool and collected as this lady. And don’t you just love that dress!

Mountain Dream Tarot

Last week I got Bea Nettle’s Mountain Dream Tarot in the mail. I had it on my wishlist for at least 10 years but it has been OOP a lot of that time. Now it is available again and I just adore it. It is the first photography deck!

It is basically a RWS clone and I usually don’t like those, but there is a lot of feeling and flare in this one. That whole 70:ies groove. Unfortunately the deck is a bit warped but nothing I can’t work around. If you want to order the deck go to Bea Nettles shop! She got lots of other awesome stuff too that I wish I could afford some day 😀

I picked this lovely 4 of cups the other day. It is not perhaps done so ‘flawless’ you can see how the boys hand has been superimposed over a cup. Today we would have just digitally added a hand actually holding a cup. But Bea Nettle worked with what she had. The 3 cups on the ground are all different, with the fourth, we can’t yet see what it really is, the hand both offers it and hides it.