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Pin Point

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Herons are cautious, they will rather flee then fight but if needed their sharp beak can do a lot of damage. As a bird they symbolises swords and air and just look at that sharp pointed beak. To the point. Exact.

hr1s

The deck is the Hidden Realms by Julia Jeffrey and Barbara Moore. (the image I found online since my camera is dead)

This deck is very beautiful and emotional. At first glance it is just a bunch of portraits and pretty people, but they all convey emotions and carry a lot of meaning, at least for me. The Aces are the prettiest, they are all animals.

This week has been rough for me. I did go see a doctor on monday and I did get a diagnosis (BPD type 2) and will start the tests and check up for new meds soon, most likely after the holidays. After beeing like a zombie for months I am actually on the turning point now. Things look brigther, I got more energy which is nice for the x-mas. Sucks to be down and out for such a merry holiday.

Fire Serpent

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ns1w

This card made me first think of the word Kundalini, yes, I read about it but really it is not anything I am familiar with, for me it is just a phrase, a concept that has nothing to do with me. So I have to look deeper.

I see red, fire, flames, a wand that is a limb, a snake but it is not living, it is consumed, eaten up. The energy overwhelming, too hot to handle. Am I the snake/wand or am I the flames? I am Fire & Serpent.

I am also burnt out. I know that this depression is just the ‘resting phase’ and that in a few days I will stay awake for days and nights on end, being over active, baking, chatting, writing, cleaning, creating. But at this moment, this very minute, this is one fricking dead stick and a fire.

Deck is Night Sun

Night Sun- No Sun

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Night Sun is published by LoScarabeo in 2014. It is a dark, lush, glowing and moody deck.

My card for today was 3 Swords. Reading the LWB the word that stood out for me was ‘Departure’ I always seen 3 of swords as a time to cut something off, in a good way, painful but needed. Like pulling out a bad tooth.

But what happens when the part you cut out is as big as the part left? Where do you go? I am left with just the knifes.

ns3s

Tides

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Holly_Sierra-Moon (1)

The Moon from Chrysalis tarot. Very pretty, but almost too overembelished at first sight. It annoys me that I can’t see the text written on the moon but then I check the LWB and she states that the moon is a message just to you. It is up to me to fill in the words here. And the human on the island, is she happy or desperate to get off it?

The tide is out, the water is low and the moon is not full. But it is changing right now. Someone will listen to me but only if I can hear myself first and be clear with what I need.

Last night I put out a plea on Facebook, more like a whine really, but friends and family gathered around and are eager to help me in a hands on way with the most practical things. Thank you!

Hanging in

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BAcrobatBW

Chrysalis tarot have these portals through which we can see the courts. Here in the upper corners is a flower and a dragonfly. Both oh so delicate and short-lived. Despite this, live they DO. Every spring sees new flowers and new dragonflies. It is a precarious life but they bring sweetness to ours.

The acrobat is a star and her companian, the monkey sets her off as one even more. For the monkey swinging high over the ground from limb to limb comes natural, for us, not so much. The acrobat needs a sharpness, a honed skill, a constant awake and flexible mind and body to do the same. She is not just going through the motions, it may not look like it, but she is hanging on for dear life but never letting it show.

Life is so fragile, yet so strong.

Bear with me

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C56

The spirals are my favorite suit in this deck (using the Chrysalis tarot this week, look for the link in yesterdays post)

During my more pagan years I went looking for my ‘totem’ animals and the bear is one of them. Now if I were to meet a big bear out in the woods I know that I will have to either play dead and still be a little chewed on, or hope there is a car or a house nearby. Bears are fierce protectors. This one here has the keyword Assertion as in ‘standing my ground’

For me the idea of personal space is vital to my well-being. I don’t like others being too close, my home is my castle and all that. Yet I often invite guests over. But I am also happy when they leave. ¬†Perhaps sometimes my assertion of personal space is really holding me back. Could it be that this bear needs to open the door a little more as to not be all alone when winter comes.

Winter is here by the way. Plenty of snow outside and the days are dark now.

Chrysalis Tarot

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I am going back to work with a new deck each week for the next year. I missed doing it and I miss ed connecting with the people I did it with over at AT forum.

Anyday now the kickstarter package will come with Tarot fundamentals books + 4 new decks. But until then I picked out a neglected deck I bought on a whim earlier this year.

Chrysalis tarot. It is colourful and pretty, like illustrations to a book of fairytales. It is also very much out of my style. A bit too sweet and cute. Some cards I really love, others feel silly. The LWB is quite ridiculus to be perfectly honest.

C77

This was my card for today. The pilgrim is sure loaded with goods. For a while I even thought she carried the llama on her back. She makes me think of those old time traders, moving from town to town selling fabric, shoes, seeds or whatever else was in need. The scrolls are swords in this deck so perhaps what she is really trying to trade is information, she brings news from one town to the next. As miles and time adds up so the stories will transform like the butterfly. She does have a sturdy staff to lean on and a lantern to light her way when she needs it though.

Oh while I am here I want to mentioned this book I just read called ‘Some kind of fairytale’ by Graham Joyce. It is contemporary fantasy but more then that it is a novel about family, memory and what time does to us. Read it!

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